A View of the Cube - Exhibit F

We, my department, are all under the current assumption, from management, that we will be moving to our new cubes on 6/15/06. I have already removed all my items from the wall and moved all my goodies to the shelf for further packing. Pictured above is the rest of my mini mart display. In addition to previously posted items there is Cholesterol Hair Cream Conditioner by Queen Helene, Rise Super Foam travel shaving cream, a sample size tub of black Playdough, three pack of McCraw's Old Fashioned Taffy (found this at a dollar store. I loved this shit when I was a kid! Should have bought two so I could have opened a package and ate one! Bugger!), my .50 cent, capsule novelty dispensed Happy Bunny that says "Hi Stupid", a deck of Celebrity mug shot playing cards, a Barbie statue my daughter gave me from her Happy Meal and on the wall is a MikWright cocktail napkin. While taking down my stuff today I decided that I would pull from the depths of my storage unit my previously retired toys. I haven't seen most of them since the end of 2000 when they were cast into the darkness for our move from Seattle to Reno. This will make the move a little more pleasurable for myself. I will continue to post more pictures of the cubie up till the move date.

Additional note: New team name is "Switchboard Betties"; now I'm sure... some of you can figure out what I do in the cube.

Answer Me Buddha

Question: Will the reorganization be a positive change for our department?
Answer Me Buddha: Look to the Lotus

(I thought he might say, "Where is my monkey?", but that's okay;

I pray it meant things will go bloomingly smooth)

A View of the Cube - Exhibit E

Orange Light Special

Warning! I have upgraded to code orange. On Friday I discovered the fate of my new position across the room. My new cube. I will now have a solid wall with two cube walls and will be in the center. I'll be moving from the west side to the east side. Before, those that entered the department would approach from my back, on the left. Now I will have a direct view of any other employee approaching me, to my left. That is a positive change for me. We have to pick a team name and our first choice "Crap Shooters" was turned down as being negative. Don't know if I will publish the final name or not. That question and more answered on the next installment of "A View of the Cube".

A View of the Cube - Exhibit D

It's time to get flexible as the changes are a forthcoming. I will be relocating to a new cube. I will now have to pack up my crowd of toys, trinkets and memorabilia and move them 35 feet to the other side of the room. I will have a new view and new co-workers to have my daily conversations with. I thrive on change since it creates the most opportunities for learning.

A View of the Cube - Exhibit C

Every cubie should have Bacon Strip Adhesive Bandages! The free toy is that little pink plastic pig on the bacon strip next to the tin. How retro is that too, bandages in a tin can! I must mention that these bandages are the toughest I have ever encountered. Knowing, only because, as a small kid I was stuck on bandages. Now…I have used the bacon strip bandages at work, fucking paper cuts, but I have never used the Boudreaux’s Butt paste! Actually, I never used this product, period. So I have no opinion on it. I just loved the name of it! Boudreaux, which would be a great, pretentious dog name...gives a feeling of southern hospitality.

A View of the Cube - Exhibit B

Out of all the items (to many adjectives to describe what types of "items" I collect) I think I have an affinity for the hygiene products the most. The communal dispenser of Wash Away your Sins is a must in the cubie world. There are way too many community items that everyone uses, so keeping hands clean is important. And what better way to keep the germs and sins away, but by doing it all in one wash. The directions are what hooked me with this brand......Directions for use: 1. Bow head 2. Engage water supply 3. Pump a generous amount of hand cleanser into palm 4. Rub hands together religiously 5. Rinse 6. Repent.........This is the genre of religion I'd be interested in. The towelette is heavenly scented and will devoutly wipe away any wrong-doing and is great for spot checking for stubborn guilt so you can go forth purified & moisturized. You can't buy items at this site but you can check out their products http://blueq.com/ .......veda il ya

Community Fridge

The Locals:
Rolling Rock
Budweiser
Miller High Life
MGD

The Tourists:
Genesse Cream Ale
Boddingtons
St. Paulie Girl
Anchor Steam
Guinness
Celebrator
Dixie Beer – New Orleans (pre-Katrina)
8 Ball Stout
Red Tail Ale
Red Hook IPA
Warthog
Cold Cock
Oatmeal Stout - Samuel Smith’s
Arrogant Bastard Ale - Stone
Dead Guy Ale – Rogue
Dos Eques
Pacifico
Tecate
Sierra Nevada Pale Ale

The Juveniles:
Diet Pepsi – Caffeine Free
Sam’s Cola
7 – Up
Bottled Water
Dad’s Root Beer

The Homeless:
Coffee Beans
Butter
Sliced Cheese
Bread
Bottle of wine (Ferrari - 1994)

The Morgue:
Meat – Various cuts of various mammals
Popsicles
Patron – Silver (Tequila)

This beast is the life of the garage

Fortune

Handsome is....... as handsome does

What does Handsome do?

Lucky Me!

My old man
gave me this
spectacular
matte
pink
Zippo
today.

Very....very....very sweet!

A View of the Cube - Exhibit A

My friend’s daughter gave me this pink elephant. I don't know what it is about pink animals, but I am charmed by the fact that they summon silly thoughts in my head.

Resist Evil

I asked Answer Me Buddha if I should color my hair. Buddha said,

"Resist Evil"

Now, I'm thinking I should have asked it before I cut and colored my hair. Oh well, at least it's not like when I was eleven and I tried to give myself a blue Mohawk. I wonder if I have that picture still?